Kobolds Ate My Baby: Quickstart Adventure: You Iz Kobolds?!

Posted by: Jason Silverain / Category: , , , ,



Greetings and salutations the first thing I wish to say that today's post is only possible due to a kind soul sending me a copy of a homemade PDF of this free adventure by 9th Level Games, I have been searching for copy of You Iz Kobolds?! for several years and even tried contacting 9th Level games directly but like every other enquiry I have made to their customer service email there has been no reply but stony silence.

You may be wondering just why I have been trying so hard to obtain it, for the last few years I have own both KAMB Deluxx Edition and more recently in KAMB in Colour, while I love the concept and the system itself I had issues when trying to introduce the system to others or create games.

The game has practically no online community in spite of its generally well known brand due to its Beer and Pretzels "make it up as you go" nature and the developers have offered little to aid this. The Kobolds Ate My Baby website has been a abandoned mess for years and while 9th Level games have been updating their blog it acts as nothing more as a shout for "Buy Our Stuff" and ignore all contact that is not directly about giving them money for Kickstarter or booking conventions.

The biggest hurdles I have found in the past are that:

  • The lack of consistency in map scale examples and player movement makes it difficult to design locations for players to explore, thankfully this has been addressed in KAMB in Colour. (1 big square on a large map or 25ft on a standard map)
  • A complete lack of Free Pre written adventures and quick start rules to act as an example for beginning DMs and to introduce new players to the game. Whilst trying to create my own quick start rules I found that it ended up a bloated mess due to the large range of skills available.
I discovered in 2016 that 9th Level released a Kobolds Ate My Baby Adventure “YOU IZ KOBOLD!” a year earlier but it wasn't available in my area and there didn't seem to be a PDF of it available anywhere. Why 9th Level haven't supplied it on their website themselves I don't know as it would help attract people to purchase their game, but then again it smacks of laziness and greedy businesses practices not supporting the game past its initial burst of sales to instead focused on creating many other short lived products through Kickstarter.

My goal with all my previous is to give this game at least some support here on my own blog, to help people who bought a copy of KAMB but were never sure how to run it or were always interested in trying their hand at DMing. If I help even one group have a try at this fun little system then I consider it a succcess.

So today as 9th Level games have failed to do so I am giving them the middle finger salute and hosting a copy of You Iz Kobolds?! because they are too caught up in making a quick buck to do so themselves. 
Even if you already own a copy of Kobolds Ate My Baby In Colour I recommend taking a look at You Iz Kobolds?!, the general rules are much clearer in than in the main book and it makes a excellent player reference guide.  

Download Here or from the Downloads page.



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Kobolds Ate My Baby: Snack Bowl Outfits

Posted by: Jason Silverain / Category: , , , , ,



"I'm Jamie Dodger and with me as always is former Snack Bowl Legend Duncan Bisket. For those of you joining us for the post game analysis of Tabriz Terrors versus the Cube Crushers you missed a heck of a game.. How would you describe it Duncan?" “Delicious Dodger, simply delicious.” “From the happy look on the faces of the crowd I think they agree with you Duncan, most of them will be going home with a full stomach today.” “Indeed, Snack Bowl fans are nothing if not voracious, something the teams learned today. Lets hope there is enough left of them for the rest of the season, or seasoning's for that matter.”

Greetings and salutations and welcome to another Kobolds Ate My Baby special, this article will be expanding upon the Snack Bowl adventure for those of you wanting more Kobold sports mayhem.
Specifically I'll be covering the Star Player Outfits, while in future updates this will be expanded with several alternative game rule sets and finally a few particular opposing teams.

As always I'd love to hear feedback, ideas and comments below for further rule sets or adventure hooks you'd like to see in the future.

I don't believe my eyes, it looks like one of the Tabriz Terrors thrown out of the arena earlier has made his way back!” “Wasn't he the one that got snatched by by that pair of orc fans?” “Yes he was Jamie and he looks like he brought what is left of them back for a snack, now there is Star Muncher material right there.” “Well lets hope the furry blighter does just as well on the pitch in the future Duncan, the Tabriz Terrors really need that iron stomach if they want to reach the finals again this year.”

The Outfits for Snack Bowl work in a similar way to regular Kobold outfits though with somewhat narrower requirements and a progression system though they still cost 9 Victory Points.
While Evil Apprentices, Kobold Veterans, Short Order Cooks and the other various skilled Kobolds are always welcomed by any Snack Bowl Coach, would be Snack Bowl Pros are those Kobolds willing to live (& die) on the pitch for the reward of tasty food and the cheers of the crowd (though the wild after game parties are also a big incentive).
This does not stop Snack Bowl players getting into between game mischief and disaster however because if King Torg (All Hail King Torg) says “Fetch Baby” you fetch baby.

Pro Rookie

Congratulations you beat the cut (or the chomp if the case may be) and manage to survive at least half a game, that makes you superior to 75% of other kobolds and worth been given an actual uniform. Keep it up and you might even get your own playing card but be careful your new status will attract plenty of jealous attention.

Requires: Surviving half a Snack Bowl game (Been sent off or taken out of the match counts if you make it back alive for the next game.)

Flair: Team Jersey (3 Armour Hits), this can be worn in addition to a helmet.

Bonus: You gain the Perform Skill and can perform Grandstanding to gain a Victory Point, if you do this after performing a feat of remarkable skill (or more likely luck) such as eating a giant creature, fighting off multiple foes alone and winning or preventing a opponents Chow Down you don't take a Horrible Death Check. If you already have the Perform Skill gain 2 Luck instead for actually having this normally useless skill.

Bonus: If your armour is destroyed you can get a new Team Jersey at half time, otherwise you'll have to wait until after the game or can sneak back to the locker rooms.

Penalty: While Grandstanding anyone trying to hit/shoot you gets a 1 die bonus to clobber your smug little face.

Pro ?

Wow your still alive and you've been pushed to your limits time and time again, but you've made it out there by been tougher, stronger, faster, HUNGRIER than all those others. The fans know who you are and cheer your name, while your rivals want to Chow Down.. on your skull.

Each Pro speciality has its own unique additional requirement but below is the general bonus and flair all PRO's receive.

Requires: Surviving a Snack Bowl game as a Pro Rookie (Been sent off or taken out of the match counts if you make it back alive for the next game.)

Flair: You've got your own Snack Bowl collectors card and collectable card case necklace. It is worth 2VP if traded in to any Cave Bazaare Shops but you'll have to spend 4VP if you want a new one. (This can be stolen or taken from your still warm corpse). You also keep your Team Jersey.

Bonus: You remove 1 Horrible Death Check as Snack Bowls greatest patron Vor The Big Red Angry God takes an interest in your career (for better or worse).

Pro Dinesman

Everyone knows that Kobold is tasty and after years of trying to resist the urge to devour those around you the life of a Snack Bowl player gives you all the excuse you need to let loose, in any other civilisation you'd be recognised as the cannibalistic little monster you are but here the fans love it.

Requires: Eat 3 other players (either side, the fans ain't picky).

Flair: Great Spork (Dam 4, +Cook +Bash -Big -Bulky) or Wok Shield (Armour 4, +Cook +Bash -Item), the referee would argue your breaching rule 4 'Teams will not bring weapons onto the pitch' but since you debated/threatened that eating contests are a sport this is been overlooked for now.

Bonus: You gain a additional 3 Hits whenever you eat Kobolds (instead of 2) or + 2 Hit for any other small races such as Halflings, Goblins and midget clowns.

Penalty: Taste like Kobold checks are now a 2 Die Ego roll, you horrible little creature.

Pro Muncher

The Dinesmen may get to eat first, the Rollers may get the glory and the Flingers may get to stay the heck out of danger but you are the mighty serving dish of the team upon which all other ingredients for success are placed. If it wasn't for you chomping down on those pesky opposing Rollers and all those wanting to squish your Rollers and Flingers you'd all end up in the coaches cook pot after losing the game.

Requires: Prevent a opposing Chow Down within 2 squares of the scoring area or Wrassle 2 other players attacking your teams Roller or Flinger into your mouth. (Not necessarily at the same time but if you do gain a VP for enthusiasm.)

Flair: Spiky Shoulder Pads ( 2 Armour Hits, + Pokey), this can be worn in addition to other armour. Also between games your given access to special treatment to ensure those fangs and claws of yours stay in perfect condition for maximum chomp to surface area ratio.

Bonus: Gain a bonus Die to all Wrassle Checks, you also do +1 Dam whenever you use your teeth or claws to attack or chew.

Pro Flinger

It may have been fluke, it may have been skill (come on we all know it was a fluke) but your well timed boot of the ball has brought you fame and a significant confidence boost. For whatever reason you seem to have gotten much better at hitting your mark, maybe you just needed to believe or perhaps its these new glasses making everything much less fuzzy?

Requires: Score a Chow Down by Shooting the ball to a fellow Kobold in the scoring area.

Flair: Oversized Goggles or Glasses.

Bonus: Gain a bonus Die to all Shoot Checks and now can shoot 4 squares before taking penalty Dice.

Pro Roller

Your in this game for one thing and one thing only, those glorious moments when you Chow Down. Whether its Baby, Badger or some poor bugger stuffed into the ball your going to eat them all and your not going to let anyone stop (or catch) you before you can. So you been working out sprinting through the cavern between games and even managed to make yourself a pair of running sandals to avoid anything nasty underfoot.

Requires: Score 3 Chow Downs.

Flair: Running shoes or Sandals

Bonus: You can now move 6 squares as normal movement instead of 5.

Bonus: Gain a bonus Die to all Wiggle Checks and ignore minor foot hazards like sharp rocks and caltrops.

Pro Cheat

Deception, theft and downright dirty deeds are your weapons of choice and lets be honest you love every moment of it as does the crowd, the referees may hate you but with your life (and dinner) on the line your willing to do whatever it takes. Taking inspiration from other dastardly plotters you've grown quite the impressive moustache and find the occasional twirl helps you think of all new ways to confound your fellow Kobolds.

Requires: Cheat 3 times.

Flair: A long handlebar moustache.

Bonus: You ignore 1 Horrible Death Check for been spotted cheating, this recovers at half time (meaning you can reuse this ability if you already used it before half time).
To use this ability the player must pretend to twirl a long handlebar moustache, cackling is also advised.

Bonus: You gain an additional bonus VP for each new way you cheat.

Seasoned Pro

Some Kobolds tend to focus on a single role during a Snack Bowl game (usually eating) but you've shown that if push comes to shove and your teammates prove useless your going to step in and get things done. Coach has noticed your hard work and provided you some relaxing spar treatment or at least that is what he told you, your not sure how relaxed you are after been sat in a extremely tasty marinade overnight but your certainly hungry.

Requires: Own two different Pro Outfits

Flair: Both flairs of Owned Outfits and a tasty marinade rub down.

Bonus: You can wear both Pro Outfits and gain their bonuses and penalties.

Penalty: That seasoning smells sooo good, gain the bogie – Taste Like Baby also anyone who eats you gains 2 + 1d6 additional Hits.


Snack Bowl Legend

You done it, you've gone the distance with the eye of Owlbear, you float like a Beholder and sting like a Stirge or something like that. Regardless of just how you've managed to reach these lofty heights of stardom your name and deeds will be remembered in Snack Bowl records for all time including your future inevitable humourous and embarrassing death. For now however you plan to live large and eat well with all the meals and cheer squads you can get your hands on, enjoying your debauchery while it lasts. 
 
Requires: Survive 5 games of Snack Bowl and be a Seasoned Pro or Survive falling all the way into the Horrible Screaming Pit Of Tentacle Death.

Flair: Customised Snack Bowl Helmet (3 Armour Hits), this can be worn in addition to Armour that is not a helmet (no stacking hats). Your own Snack Bowl collectors card is now worth 4VP if traded in to any Cave Bazaare Shops but you'll have to spend 8VP if you want a new one. (This can be stolen or taken from your still warm corpse). You also keep your Team Jersey if you wish.

Bonus: For a single VP you may select any item on any of the Sports Equipment Charts while in the Locker Room though you still take a Horrible Death Check if you use the Dangerous! Charts.

Bonus: Gain the + Extra Padding Edge even if you already have it (yes you chubby Kobolds will roll 2d6 additional Hits).

Bonus: If you are a Seasoned Pro you retain your Seasoned Pro bonuses and penalties, if you got this outfit by surviving falling all the way into the Horrible Screaming Pit Of Tentacle Death you instead regain a single Luck point for each further game you survive (up to initial starting Luck determined by your Extraneous stat)

Bonus: Choose 2 stats to gain +1 Stat Point in as long as your a Snack Bowl Legend.

Bonus: You can choose to gain one of the following skills Bully, Duel, Shoot, Dungeon, Fast or Wiggle. Should you somehow already possess all these skills (you talented little Kobold you) pick a skill to gain a bonus Die in to all its checks, (this does not stack with other Outfit bonus die and anyone trying to minmax in such a fashion takes a Horrible Death Check).

Penalty: Vor The Big Red Angry God wants you for his personal star team collection, +1 on the result of any Horrible Death Check or Chart Roll.

Penalty: Should you be eaten (& presumably killed) during a Chow Down the opposing team gains 5 points.

Card Collector

Usually a hobby for those simply watching the game, your desire to complete your collection drove you to take to the pitch retrieving those First Edition Print cards from around the necks of the players themselves. After all its a dangerous game and these valuable pieces of Snack Bowl history would be much safer in your King Torg (ALL HAIL KING TORG) Certified Snack Bowl Collectors Cardbook tm.
 
Requires: Have 5 Snack Bowl collectors cards.

Flair: You gain a King Torg (ALL HAIL KING TORG) Certified Snack Bowl Collectors Cardbook tm (Dam 2, +Ricochet +Bash, -Big)

Bonus: You can choose to gain one of the following skills: Fear, Sage or Bard, you may also use Sage once a game without taking a Horrible Death Check (unless the other players give a thumbs down).

Bonus: You gain a Bonus die in against anyone whose card is in your collection.

Bonus: If you somehow receive a replica card you can trade this in for 1 addition VP to its normal worth.

Penalty: You can't bear to part with your collection and thus unable to trade unique cards in to any Cave Bazaare Shops and must attempt to recover your Snack Bowl Collectors Cardbook if you somehow lose it. (If it is lost permanently somehow you lose the ability to wear this outfit)


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