Wigglyturf Wars: A Game Of Gangster Pokemon And A Blind Hatred For Goldeen

Posted by: Jason Silverain / Category: , , ,



Sometimes when looking at custom games and settings you come across something special, a simple system with an amazing concept that is easy to pick up and hard to put down, a game that you intend to play as a one off but keep play it for years afterwards.

Wigglyturf Wars is not one of those games.
By all means it is not bad and certainly no FATAL thank Arceus, Wigglyturf Wars falls into a certain niche of game which I enjoy the concept for but for one reason or another I could not recommend to a casual or inexperience player.

Created by two room mates known only as Jand and Frenchie Wigglyturf Wars was released into the public on 07 Jan 2015 by Jand.
The rules come in two parts, a spreadsheet and a word doc, both of which are linked below:
Doc: Link, Alternative Link
Spread Sheet: Link, Alternative Link

In the world of WTW, humans are non-existent; you play as a Pokemon and is set in Marina City, an industrial metropolis ruled by Pokemon. A number of factions control different areas, from the docks controlled by the psychopathic Golduck Vasili, to the business district run by the sinister Yakooza.
The story of Marina City is thus: for as long as the oldest Aerodactyl can remember, Marina City has been under the thumb of ruthless gangsters. Two years ago, the Persian, the sinister Crime Lord of Marina City, was assassinated by persons unknown, creating a power vacuum which was filled by several aspiring gang leaders.

The players must decide which of the 3 factions they will ally with or if they will aid the police in cleaning up Marina City.

A rather unusual and amusing setting which in all honest seems to have been created just for the Pokemon name puns, though I am a fan of police drama of film noir as settings go and I was tempted to treated it as a Pokemon themed Zootopia.
However the rules are very maths heavy and rely on having access to the pokemons base stats from the games and thus character creation and levelling is by no means simple, in addition by using this method a lot of the statistical unbalance between certain Pokemon has been transferred over to the tabletop making some Pokemon naturally weaker than others and unable to catch up.

The move system is intriguing but ultimately limiting with little freedom in move variation between Pokemon of the same type, though it can be argued that this is a common problem in RPGs that characters of the same class have little variation (though this is becoming less of a case in recent years).   

The majority of the rule set after character creation is focused on the combat and in a nutshell it isn't a easy read for example:

Attacking: The success or failure of an attack is based on the following formulae:
If using a Physical Attack:
((Attacker’s Attack Stat)*5 + d100 + SEB) – ((Defender’s Defence Stat)*5 + d100 + RB)
Or, if using a Special Attack:
((Attacker’s Sp. Attack Stat)*5 + d100 + SEB) – ((Defender’s Sp. Defence Stat)*5 + d100 +RB)
You can imagine how off putting this presentation can be to someone attempting to learn the rules and then take into account the large amount of additional effects most moves have it can become easy to see why the game requires a spread sheet.
This focus required on the combat rules has also come at another cost, a lack of adventure ideas or suggestions on how a budding gm would structure a campaign for the players to take over the city.

So with time consuming set-up, awkward maths and little in the way of guiding a new player or gm into building an adventure Wigglyturf Wars sadly will not see much play by other groups. However the concept is amusing and has possibilities and could perhaps find itself used in existing systems.
I would certainly like to see it taken and built upon in the future in whatever form it takes.


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Greentext: Tales of Chappa Fliks: Parts 5 and 6, Borderline TPKs and 80's Hacking Montages.

Posted by: Jason Silverain / Category: , , , ,




Part 5: Heroic Sacrifices and Percussive Warp Core Maintenance


> Beginning a little earlier than normal the group having gotten used to the interface of Fantasy Grounds.
> we began to delve to some its other features, after the Dark Eldars plotting none of us wanted to be at a disadvantage in the future.
> Of course the fact that most players had chosen rather verbose names made the whispering feature a pain to use so some of the players gave up on it turning back to steam chat.
> myself and the Jedi Player with sensible character names were doing fine.

> Having been forced to miss a week we quickly recapped the key moments of the last session:

> Chappa and the Jedi has commandeered the salvage vessel, managing to pacify or intimidate most of the skeleton crew that was on board into following their orders and had managed to put good distance between themselves and the shipyard.

> The Jedi's contact a defecting Imperial Intelligence officer was also safely aboard the vessel and needed to be taken to the rebels as soon as possible due to important information she knows. 
> Party is current having bets between Hive Fleet, Death Star, or a Imperial Crusade incoming.

> Salvage Ship now confirmed by the Gm to be a CR90 Corvette with most of the weapons stripped leaving just its main two turrets but it does have extra room in cargo and docking because of this.

> Tau who originally was going to board the Corvette has taken control of near 50 servo drones that are designed to break down debris and has order them to start stripping down the space station. 
> He is now currently in a Imperial shuttle which is slightly damaged due to poor piloting.

> The Space Stations Warp Core has been ejected and thanks to some hacking by the Dark Eldar has had its stable orbit broken.
> It is drifting at increasing velocity towards the Imperial Naval Space Docks where two Star Destroyers are docked undergoing maintenance.
 > Should the Station and Docks collide their orbits would decay and the wreckage from them could kill millions and may even cause an impact event .
> On a side note most of the tannoys and screens within the Space Station are still showing ads for Mr T'Orks weapons business.

> The Dark Eldar, Bounty Hunter and Mr T'Ork were now currently drifting through space clinging onto the shielding of the Warp Core and no one else in the party knew this.

> Ewok and Jedi confirm our ship was away from the wreckage.
> Chappa points out that no one has said where they needed to go and hasn't a clue, Jedi fails knowledge roll on local surrounding systems.
> Intelligence Officer tries to interject but is distracted by panicking bridge crew.
> Radio Tau who also fails and doesn't care as long as they are away from this place.
> Hyper driving in a random direction seems colossally stupid. 
> Roll contacts to see if I know any rebel hideouts nearby.
> Roll 5.. a pass there's a small rebel resupply safehouse in a nearby system on a old mined out moon. 

> Inform the Jedi that's where I'm planning on going until Intelligence Officer states that was her idea too.
> ORLY.png
> If the defecting Intelligence Officer knows about it then its most likely in Imperial records. 
> Roll another contacts roll at penalty for a different location. 
> Realising that I require a dice explosion to pass.
> Dice Explosion... the dice gods are feeling kind, secretly changed co-ordinates to a location of a minor contact.
> Can actually hear the GM's twitch as he now realises he has to think of different plot for next sessions.

> Chappa broke out of jail by himself, saved a Tau from been killed, is the only pilot and has now stopped predictable ambush. 
> Must admit feeling a little smug, predict that dice will smite me later.
> Jedi keeps bridge crew from panicking as increasingly surly Ewok starts pressing important buttons.

> Meanwhile all hell begins to break lose at the shipyard.
> Apparently only one of the Star Destroyers has more than a skeleton crew on board at this very moment and the commander has realised what is happening.
> From a distance we detect 40 or so Tie Fighters launching from the Star Destroyers.
>Party Plays OhCrapOhCrapOhCrap.Wav
 > Incoming horrible laser death never arrives, Tie Fighters begin strafing the station trying to break it up into smaller segments.
> Tau Player who is usually a pragmatic killing machine to the point of annoying rest of party has seeming does a 180 in his usual play style.
> Orders drones to assist and the break down small chunks of the station that are drifting off.

> At this point his shuttles scanners also detect the rest of the party hanging off the Warp Core and he starts heading towards them.
> Dark Eldar begins boasting over his coms to Bounty Hunter and Mr T'Ork about his achievements, how he's not a genocidal maniac how he is a man of vision etc etc.
> Bounty Hunter sick of Dark Eldars shit and partly worried that the Dark Eldar will befriend the explosion addict Ork disables the Dark Eldars coms by breaking the relevant transmitter of his helmet.
> Mr T'Ork not paying attention realises that they are drifting away in “Boring direction”
> After some failed concepts decides on a plan of “Dibolical Kunning” after remembering he has a flame thrower.
> Mr T'Ork turns round and now begins using his flamethrower to propel the Warp Core. Actually goes quite well and the roll passes but the skill dice rolls a 1.
GM decides that the Warp Core is now spinning but is heading right direction.
> They must all roll endurence tests not to be sick.
> All three pass rolls to avoid puking in their helmets as they turn a little green or a darker shade in Mr T'Orks case.

> GM “Oh by the way, there is now a crack in the protective shielding and power spikes are detectable in the Warp Core.”
> Party Plays OhCrapOhCrapOhCrap.Wav
> GM and Jedi player are puzzled “But wait a moment aren't most of you guys engineers?”
> Bounty Hunter can only hack. 
> Dark Eldar has mad science for altering existing tech but is too busy wrestling with the Bounty Hunter and Mr T'Ork..
> Mr T'Ork has the explosives skill, “Its just a really big bomb, I'm going to roll it.”
> Fails roll. 
> Mr T'Ork in typical ork repair fashion begins smacking it with a large wrench deciding Percussive Warp Core Maintenance is the way.

> GM informs party that everyone is within the blast radius of the Warp Core except those on the ship which may have a small chance to survive.
> Party collectively brown trousers apart from myself and the Jedi Player
> Myself and Jedi now secretly conversing on the ethics behind abandoning the party and how long we should wait till we hyper drive away.
> Decide to wait for Tau they leave the others to die if they can't reach ship in 10 turns.
> The words “I'm not actively trying to kill the party..” keep coming up in this conversation. 
> Very glad no one else can see it.

> Typically Tau declares he's flying the shuffle along side the Warp Core forgetting its a small one man ship.
> Mr T'Ork fails a second repair roll. 
> The power spikes again GM reveals the Warp Core will explode in under 10 rounds. 
> Tau starts screaming at Mr T'Ork to stop helping for the Greater Good.
> Screw it we are leaving in 3 rounds.. no wait what are the Dark Eldar and Bounty Hunter doing?
> The Dark Eldar and Bounty Hunter now push off the Warp Core trying to drift in the direction of the ship and while fighting. 
> The Dark Eldar tries to throw something resembling a Thermal Detonator at the Warp Core thankfully the Bounty Hunter deflects it out into space.
> Jedi remembers our ship has a tractor beam and declares we have a plan. 
> In private chat we both conclude we are most likely going to die because we are too damn nice.

> GM laughs and reveals that he can see all private chats. 
> Then rewards both me and Jedi a Bennie.
> Party are suspicious. 
> I come up with a cunning ploy and distract them by posting pictures of dogs dressed as Ewoks.
> All play is suspended for 10 minutes. 
> Thank the Dice Gods for our short attention spans.

> Managing to stabilise the Warp Cores flight with the tractor beam thanks to good rolls by the Jedi. > The Tau exits the Shuttle and does okay in beginning repairs.
> Suddenly laser fire almost hits the Tau. 
> It seems a handful of Tie Fighters did come after us. 
> Curse the Dice Gods for our short attention spans.

> Threat vanishes as quickly as it appeared.
> Chappa seems to be an Ewok of many talents and obliterates the Tie Fighter with a well placed shot from the Corvette
> Attention back to our potential pursers we now realise that the Star Destroyers have both opened fire on the remains of the station.
> Escape pods launching from the Star destroyer that had initially launched the fighters it now surges forward ramming the incoming station. 
> For a moment it seems like it shields will hold before they overload and the station crashes into it.
> The Dark Eldars evil laughter cuts off once we realise with the sacrifice of the Star Destroyer that the forward momentum of the Station has been vastly reduce even as it collides with the shipyard.
> Some wreckage rains down on the planet but it is mostly small enough to burn up in orbit.
> Even though it is heavily damaged to the point of destruction the shipyards orbit doesn't decay.
> While most of the party give a sigh of relief at not destroying a planet we now realise the remaining Tie pilots are bearing down on us with vengeance in mind.
> Another Star Destroyer arrives in the system from hyperspace after hearing the distress calls.

> Desperate to buy more time the Jedi realises that the Warp Core could be used as a bomb.
> Prepares to launch it after he tinkers with deploying more power to the tractor beam.
> Its quickly pointed out to him that the Bounty Hunter and Dark Eldar have drifted into the beam and would be turned into paste
> Also the Tau and Mr T'Ork are still on the Warp Core.
> The words “I'm not actively trying to kill the party..” once again are uttered but publicly this time.

> A littler further repair work and the Tau rapidly gets back into his shuttle flying into the docking bay of the Corvette as Chappa begins to power up the Hyperdrive.
> Jedi remembers he is in fact a Jedi
> Uses the Force to pull Bounty Hunter and Dark Eldar in the docking bay. 
> In spite of parties protests in bringing the Dark Eldar, we did owe him a favour for getting our stuff.

> Mr T'Ork is now ready to go out in possibly one of the biggest explosions that he possibly could.
> Player is laughing regretting nothing.
> Dark Eldar manages to persuade the party that the Warp Core in spite of been unstable as hell is fixable and worth a lot of money and thus we finish loading it into the docking area.
> Repeated head desking as this point
> The session ends as Mr T'Ork does one final roll to try and fix The Warp Core as he rides in... 
> Failing again. It now has less than 5 turns till detonation.


Part 6 Race to Hyperspace


> Another two weeks and the group gathers once more.
> Jedi players headset mike doesn't seem to be working properly so I actually don't have much of clue about anything he said this session. 
> Though he spent most of the evening trying to fix it.
 > At this point we are pretty confident we are going to get away though as we recap.
> We suddenly realise we are two bad skill rolls away from a TPK... 
> Well myself and the Tau player anyway.

> As game resumes Tau bee lines to Warp Core attempting to fix it as party try to decide what to do.
> Jedi at this point remembers to close the hanger doors so Chappa can finally hit the hyperdrive button.
> GM asks rather sternly if we are SURE we don't want to jettison the unstable Warp Core as a makeshift bomb towards our pursuers.
> Dark Eldar points out that it is a highly valuable unstable Warp Core.
> Forgetting everything we have learned in the last few sessions about not trusting the Dark Eldar decide that the prize is too great to lose.
> We have one round left as Chappa sends the ship into hyperspace.
> Much to everyone's relief the Tau manages to repair the damage enough to buy another hour or two which will be more than enough time to affix a makeshift cooling system.
> Bounty Hunter begins to rant at Dark Eldar about morality.
> Amusingly enough be seems to predict the Dark Eldars replies before he can even speak and ends up holding up both sides of the argument.
> Finally stating “To Hell with it I need a drink..” and proceeding to start getting drunk from his hipflask.
> Amused the Dark Eldar states he's glad they had this conversation and then vanishes looking for engineering.
> Internally scream as I realise none of the other characters are following him.

> Now bored Mr T'Ork begins to explore the ship trying to find the armoury.
> Ends up trying to pursue a Servo skull.
> The Servo skull managing to escape Mr T'Ork encounters the ships cook whose kitchen is located next to the armoury room. 
> The Ship Cook seems to resemble if a wookie make love to an ogryn and someone shaved the result... badly.
> Ends up the cook options are limited to grilled, burnt or deep fried and has a instant dislike for Mr T'Ork.
> His skin tone makes her suspect he is a salad person.
> Realise that not only is the Ships Cook is bigger and more muscular than him but also wielding a massive cleaver that is bigger than his choppa.
> Mr T'Ork denies been a salad person.
> Out of character party does in fact point out that he is basically a fungus creature.
> Offers to obtain rare ingredients which is quickly changed to rare meats to deep fry for the cook.
> Party predicts we will be eating squigs for months.

> Dark Eldar locates engineering.
> The entrance is guarded by rather lax Storm Trooper who hasn't even realise the ship has taken off and hasn't even noticed the previous alarm.
> This doesn't stop the dark Eldar from doing what he does best. 
> Completely bluffs the poor trooper that he is the new commanding officer of the ship.
> Dark Eldar pausing from his inspection of the ship engines attempts to corrupt Storm Trooper through suggestive smile and homoerotic subtext.
> Dark Eldar player accidentally replaces his skill roll with ewok sith picture 
> Much facepalming and giggles ensue as we try to fix it.
> Only succeeds in replacing two other skills with the same picture. 
> Giving up the Dark Eldar player deletes the skills to retype them later after making the roll which obviously succeeds.
> We discover that the Storm Trooper is in fact an academy drop out after a grenade incident on Arrama 3.
> The Trooper now known as Sonny Gunn doesn't realise he's just a regular guard and not a trooper.

> At this point the ship shakes as if struck by a blast and is dragged from hyperspace.
> You'veGotToBeKidding.gif
> Fearing there may be shield problems the Tau becomes determined to attempt to wire the Warp Core that is currently in a transportable storage mode into the ships systems to provide extra power.
> Only relenting after 30 minutes of the party and GM explaining out of character the effect would be like trying to directly plug a nuclear reactor into lamp.
> The shaking Mr T'Ork is distracts from his wooing of the Cook and construction of a vending machine in the armoury.
> Finding a nearby console he activates the Green alert since “Green is da best and don't want these zoggin idots runnin faster in red..”
> Everyone on Ship WTF is a green alert as the corridor lights turn green.
> Party decided someone must of put a non recyclable in the wrong bin. 
> After several rounds of the party derping Chappa does the sensible thing and looks out the window.

> An Interdictor-class Star Destroyer... thankfully some distance away but still well within range of its interdiction field.
> General consensus is we are all dead. 
> But then we are hailed by a single Tie Fighter that reveals that this a regular stop and search due to the distress call from the shipyard and station.
> There relief for a moment until we realise we don't know the ship code, Captain or Imperial.
> We rush to find the Ex-Imperial Intelligence Officer 
> Except for Chappa who is piloting and the Dark Eldar who hacks his way into the coms.

> Dark Eldar begins informing the Tie pilot that we are on a mission of mercy loaded with food and medical supplies.
> Begin head desking in and out of character.
> Dark Eldar player picks up on this subtle hint that his bluff is remarkably stupid and decides to push it further by stating that several prisoners from the station are on board and have been captured.
> Having found the Ex-Imperial Intelligence Officer but too late to fix this Tau, Ewok and Jedi realise that the Dark Eldar may be the cause of the Bounty Hunters drinking problem.

> The Bounty Hunter who had been deceptively quiet during the session apart from a short failed attempt to seduce the Intelligence Officer again now also hacks into the coms system using a hacking deck from the shadowrunner home-brew expansion.
> A brief explanation by the GM explains why he had allowed that expansion for the Bounty Hunters player.
> Bounty Hunter piggybacking off the coms communication manages to discover the communication frequency for the Star Destroyer. 
> Using this he transmits a virus attached message to the Star Destroyer with an epic dice explosion of 32.
>The rest of the party aren't sure how this actually works but what the hell the dice gods said yes so that's enough.
>With his bluff slowly falling apart the Dark Eldar convinces Sonny Gunn to contact the Tie Fighter pilot.
> Somehow the bumbling npc manages to pull off a decent roll convincing the pilot that we will transmit coordinates of where we will meet the Interdictor-class Star Destroyer so we can be boarded.

> With a moment respite for the group the Tau makes his way to the bridge encountering the Servo Skull on his way.
> Servo Skull which now through suspiciously specific denials gives away that it in fact is an (of a debatable level) intelligent AI.
> Two bond over how crazy techpriests are.
> Using the scanners we realise there is an asteroid field extremely close to where we were shunted back into real space. 
> With a remarkable role and several bennies the Gm allows the Tauto make a claim that several of the asteroids have metals in them which would be attracted towards the interdiction field.
> The Jedi Player protests that's not how interdiction fields work and game is suspended for another 15 minutes.
> Begin to realise we should of really stuck to the more simple Star Wars elements for the game due to the little in depth knowledge we have since this is going to keep happening.

> GM rules the “Rule of Cool” and the game continues.
> Sending coordinates of a location near the asteroid field to the Star Destroyer. 
> We decide on a plan, first we would make our way to the asteroid field they quickly divert into it, then get rid of our Tie Fighter escort and try to escape the interdiction field while the Star Destroyer is pelted with asteroids.
> This goes wrong instantly.
> Bounty Hunters little foray into the Tie Fighters systems infected it with adware which has not gone unnoticed by the pilot who is growing increasingly irate with offers to “Extend his lightsaber”.
> Contacting us again the pilot decides enough is enough and demands we fly directly towards the Star Destroyer.
> However the Dark Eldar once again banters his way through the situation explaining that we believe on of the prisoners is loose and is currently on the outside of the ship. 
> As the Tie Fighter comes closer we jettison the salvaged garbage from the hold which smashes through the cockpit of the Tie Fighter killing the pilot.
> With our flimsy cover completely blown Chappa now pushes the Corvette engines to the limit steering towards the asteroid field. 
> Meanwhile the Jedi suddenly feels a dark pressure emanating from the Star Destroyer signalling the presence of incredibly powerful sith causing him to try and suppress his own aura.

> Expecting a massive ave of Tie Fighters incoming any moment the party prepares. 
> Mr T'Ork manning one of the turrets as the Tau takes the other wiring the Servo Skull AI into the targeting systems ordering it to aim fore disabling shots.
> Servo Skull becomes increasingly disturbing as it now describes the sensation of becoming so much larger and how it can feel everything within the ship.
> Great... we are bordering on creating another SHODAN.
> A few rounds of pilot rolls and we are slowly pulling away but its not fast enough. 
> This has given the Dark Eldar time to do a few power alterations to one of the turrets.
> Much to the anger of the Ships Engineer who resists whacking him with her wrench to see if she can figure out the changes.

> The first two squadrons of Tie Fighters that spewed forth from the Star Destroyer now reach us
 > Mr T'Ork (unknowingly aided by the AI) rains laser death amongst them taking serious penalties to make multiple shots that not only hit but destroy a fighter with each shot.
> The Tau also proves himself to be just as effective with deadly precision and six Tie Fighters have been destroyed in our opening volley.
> The remaining eighteen open fire strafing us but struggle to pierce the shields doing only superficial damage and two more are further destroyed by the Corvettes front guns.

> At this point the virus put in place by the Bounty Hunter activates and corrupts the internal communication system.
> Turns out its actually remarkably simple and replaces a number of keywords in a sentence with another. 
> During the rounds since it was used the Bounty Hunter Player has made a list of 40 words and then after a quick check the GM agrees with them.

> Dice are rolled to see which words will be used.
> The results are surprisingly sensible apart from an unusual sentence or two. 
> Importantly however is a series of conflicting orders regarding the interdiction field and entering hyperspace.
> The GM is suffering the ire of the dice gods as various sense motive and engineering rolls by the Star Destroyers crew utterly fail.
> The crew more motivated not to be shot for disobeying orders than common sense start following the instructions of the corrupted message.

> Another round of fire and the Tie Fighters are reduced to half a squadron remaining but many more are incoming as we enter the asteroid field.
> A few rounds of cat and mouse later the Start Destroyer attempts to enter hyperspace only for the interdiction field to reactivate seconds later. 
> The result is the Star Destroyer catapulting itself into the asteroid field.
> A large pulse from the interdiction field begins drawing in the nearest asteroids before the conflict shorts out systems throughout the Star Destroyer.
> Now unprotected has numerous asteroids slam into it.
> With the interdiction field down and not wanting to press our run of luck further we activate our own hyperspace engines and escape. 
> Mr T'Ork unplugging the complain AI as we do so.

I hope you guys enjoyed all this I must admit that the last two posts haven't been all that amusing but unfortunately I was finding it difficult to keep up with notes. I think if I do more posts I'll keep them to short scenes rather than trying to tell an entire adventure but it looks like our group have avoid TPK for now.



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A Brief Update And Simbrix Second Kickstarter: More Colours!

Posted by: Jason Silverain / Category: ,


First of all a slight apology for how late in the month this post is, in all honesty I've been darting about unable to settle in front of a screen as most of my free time when not job searching has been focused on trying to create a Choose Your Own Adventure combined with a Visual novel in the excellent simple to use Tyranobuilder.

Whilst I have no delusions about been able to complete the project in time for the 2017 Spring Game Jam (at least at any decent standard of quality) I really want to have the drive to focus on this and 'put my money where my mouth so to speak.'
However as frankly I am a terrible digital artist when it doesn't come to copy pasting and image manipulation and lack any audio editing software I have been reliant on scouring the Creative Commons for CC0 licensed material, so a huge thank you to everyone who has contributed to https://opengameart.org

As a result I must admit I haven't been focusing as much attention to the blog or Youtube channel this month as usual, so again sorry about that.

So moving on let us focus on the main topic of the day, some of you may remember my review of a Kickstarter regarding Simbrix from way back in 2015. Having met the developer and designer I found myself charmed by the concept and having had my set for two years now I can say it was money well spent.

Simbrix: A curious hybrid of Lego, Jigsaws and Hama Beads

Having had two years of feedback Simbrix enters version 3.0 boasting the following:
  • 17 Custom colours and shades.
  • Improved colour proportion in each kit (because really no one needs that much hot pink).
  • Two new colour pack collections to chose from.  
  • More inspiration sheets (some of which were designed by my lovely friend over at Buzy Bobbins
  • 50 Extra bricks in each pack raising it to 900 and double the number of black bricks included in the Dueto Pack.

There are quite a few more options detailed over at the Kickstarter itself and even though it is 127% funded with 5 days left to go there are plenty of good cheap backing options for those looking to snap up a good deal.

In my past review I highlight the primary weakness was the lack of colour options and really think that this is a great step in improving a create craft toy even further and below you can view the new colour options and a handy pie chart:


Finally is just a short video that I found rather humanising about Simbrix as a company as whole, in my experience many small companies after reaching their goals on Kickstarter and developing often become a bit soulless forgetting or looking down on their origins.
So far Simbrix has avoid this trend but we will see in another two years shall we?



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Greentext: Tales of Chappa Fliks parts 3 and 4, Devious Dark Eldar and Unstoppable Orks.

Posted by: Jason Silverain / Category: , , , ,



Hi there everyone today I'm continuing the Greentext of my groups bi weekly game of Savage Worlds in Star Wars/Warhammer 40k crossover called the The Enlightenment Heresy.
If you've missed the first post then you can read it here.

Part 3: Karma Catches up for solo session, Don't get between an Ork and his Dakka

This one may be a little short as I wasn't present for most of the session due to an ear infection.
> Dark rituals are performed, stars align, Party gathers once more on Team Speak and Fantasy Grounds.
> Make sure all girlfriends, wives, relatives and employers needs are met so we won't have a repeat of last time.
> Eager to start then remember most of the party need to transfer character details to Fantasy Ground character sheet.
> Might as well get a cup of tea. Why? Because that is what we English do.  > Room begins to spin as I stand up.
> OhCrapFace.png
> Get some aspirin but doesn't help.

> GM wants to do some final character building linking characters together through previous encounters.
> Random table is quickly made of locations, people and events. By quickly I mean half an hour.
> Brain still feels like its trying to 360.
> Most interesting results as follows:

> Bounty Hunter has been after Dark Eldar for so long that its turned into a Tsundere relationship between the two. 
> The Dark Eldar Play has actually started writing a story of a previous encounter between the two which when I last checked was 18 pages long.

> Tau and Bounty Hunter were investigating the same crime in a location called Chasm City and had a “misunderstanding” over the state of the case. 
> Both characters were plunged into the centre of a criminal lair. They engaged in an epic escape from hordes of criminals and several gang bosses with EXPLOSIONS EVERYWHERE! 

> Admiral Ackbar has sworn vengeance against Dark Eldar, due to the unfortunate misunderstanding with a giant spiders plague he unleashed for an experiment.
> Mr T'Ork caused an ongoing conflict between high inquisitor and system lord by stealing the inquisitor’s hat to complete a bet.
> Mr T'Ork warband has been hired several times to try and kill most of the other party members at one time or another, the Jedi especially has given them a sound kicking each time.

> About to do my own bit when suddenly find myself about to throw up and forced to abandon game.
> As result Ewok has no personal or background connection to any of these psychopaths.
> At least I have my Droid.
> Play RogerRoger.wav

> Session continues without me, later informed of events.
> Party forced into cells, Bounty Hunter in particular annoyed.
> Mr T'Ork informed that no explosions are allowed in cell and that he can't have dinner right then.
> Initate HulkOut.exe
> Mr T'Ork punches the thickest cell door clean of its hinges with bionic arm with a dice explosion in the 20s.
> Door crushes both storm troopers in cell block.
> Imperial officer on way to question Jedi requires trouser change but is quickly grabbed by Mr T'Ork.
> Imperial Officer now promoted to Personal GPS system for Mr T'Ork.

> Mr T'Ork on a whim decides to open rest of cell doors.
> Party gathers for the first time and quickly call truce, trying to decide what to do while asking Imperial officer the layout of station.
> Dark Eldar decides to take officers hat and jacket and walks off towards the evidence rooms/armoury as party debates.
> Favoured by the Dice Gods manages to bluff his way past several storm troopers as he passes through various checkpoints by simply acting like he belongs there.
> Not wanting his payday to escape Bounty Hunter quickly pursues as does Mr T'Ork who also wishes to head to Armoury.
> They also encounter Storm Troopers and now the alarm is ringing.
>Tau and Jedi split up, Tau wanting to see if there are any other prisoners and the Jedi wanting to find the contact he was assigned to find on the station. (Which is why he allowed himself to be caught)

> Bounty Hunter pummels his way through storm troopers smashing through the breakroom walls in the process. 
> Dark Eldar keeps sending storm troopers in his direction as he searches for the evidence room.
> Mr T'Ork going the same route as Chappa initial escape attempt almost knocks himself out as he tries to punch down another door but takes over the prison control room through sheer intimidation even though unarmed.
> Meanwhile Tau finds no one and tries holding up a pair of Storm Troopers, while he catches them unaware. 
> Dice Gods desire tribute and he proceeds to roll not one but two critical failures to intimidate them while both troopers resisting dice explode.
> Jedi clears through other cell block but gets his translator damaged in the process.
> Decides to reduce flood of reinforcements by hacking each door he encounters to lock it shut.

> Reinforcements from other areas of the station are now pouring in and the party is beginning to realise how deadly Savage Worlds is compared to D&D.
> Mr T'Ork still trying to program his personal GPS mostly by shaking him and occasionally using him to club a Storm Trooper, continues on towards the armoury.
> Enters a wide guard post and trying to open two of the doors accidentally activates the security shutters. 
> This actually helps him as two squads of troopers arrive and can only get in through one door.
> A stalemate quick ensures as Mr T'Ork can't leave through the hail of blaster fire and the Storm Troopers can't enter the room without losing at least one to four limbs or organs of Mr T'Orks choice.
> In spite of his bionics the Bounty Hunter is taking a lot of damage also pinned by the same two squads as he tries to enter their corridor from a southern door.
> Jedi is actually pretty Zen but is quickly getting worried his contact might be killed.
> Refusing the Tau's demands to enter the prison cells the two Storm Troopers draw their own guns. > Tau now finds himself alone stuck in a firefight with apparently (by their dice rolls) the stations most accurate and ballsy Storm Troopers nearly dying in the process.
> Dark Eldar is cackles as he goes through everyone's gear and having rearmed starts making his way back to the party as the session ends.
> That week at the pub the party debates where Chappa should appear and help out. 
> FeelSoWanted.Png 

Part 4: Dynamic Ewok Entry, I need your helmet, your ship and your warp core.


> One ear infection later, the party reassembles, then recalls just how screwed up everything is going.
> After recap GM and myself agree that Chappa is most like in the vents above the Cell Block the Tau is exploring.
> Drawing new initiative the Tau goes first and instantly has to spend bennies to restore life before attempting to pin the troopers with blaster fire...
> Tau Critically Fails, Storm Troopers don't flinch as blaster fire scatters around the area.
> GM doth sniggers as he rolls his hidden die.

> Stray Blaster shots ricocheting hit the vent supports causing them to collapse.
> Dynamic Ewok Entry begins, roll Acrobatics not to break legs.
> Cue theme music as Chappa lands on a storm trooper knocking him back into one of the cells. 
> IusedToBeATrooperLikeYouThenITookAnEwokInTheKnee.Jpg
> Nearly set off Tau's PTSD flash backs of genestealers coming from ceiling.
 > Tau continues his turn, uses the command console beside him to shut cell doors trapping the Trooper.
> Ewok continues his impromptu rescue and open fire with his scavenged Heavy Blaster.
> Wild Dice explodes however Skill dice is 1 activating All Thumbs, Blaster overheats releasing the entire charge in a single deadly blast into remaining Troopers chest.
> 5 second silence for stations most accurate Storm Trooper before stealing his Blaster Carbine.

> Somewhat puzzled conversation between Ewok and Tau, mostly along the lines of “What are you?” “Do you know the way out?” 
> Interrupted by the sound of incoming people.
> Ewok props up Storm Trooper body hiding behind it and Tau takes cover behind consoles.
> Meanwhile a three way firefight takes place until Mr T'Ork luck returns and one of the storm troopers he grabs has a thermal detonator.
> Mr T'Ork actives thermal detonator and then throws the trooper back like a too small catch.
> EXPLOSIONS!?
> Reinforcements halted for now, the Jedi, Mr' T'Ork and Bounty Hunter gather trying to figure out where to go. 
> Once more questioning the Imperial Officer who had somehow survived been a GPS, Club and Meatshield.
> Dark Eldar interrupts them delivering their weapons and armour as they are woefully under dressed and unfashionable.
> Bounty Hunter states that he doesn't trust the Eldar as he's a mass murder. 
> Dark Eldar counters by pointing out he hasn't killed a single one of the guards and the rest of the group are the one butchering their way through the station.

> Back in the Cell block as soon as the door opens a rain of blaster fire wipes out a Officer entering the room. Again Wild Dice explodes and Skill dice is 1 activating All Thumbs.
> Group declares to never let the Ewok touch anything important.
> Ewok taking the fallen officers heavy blaster and hat tossing away broken blaster carbine. 
> Tau player been loot hoarder takes both broken guns before running out the room.

> Ewok about to follow when wait a moment Helmet trophies!
> One cumbersome predator impersonation and a messy decapitation later, the helmet is Chappas, then he locates the helmet straps.
> -facepalm-
> While attempting to catch up with party Chappa encounters a not quite dead trooper in the T junction tries a potshot at Chappa.
> Chappa returns fire, the die is cast and the party bursts into laughter as the inevitable happens.
> All Thumbs.
> 1/216 chance or 0.46% The dice gods obviously not content with simply maintaining my reputation as a dice jinx on the table have moved with the times and joined the digital era.
> Group once more declares to never let the Ewok touch anything important.

> Ewok changing blaster again and claiming another helmet finally catches up with party gathered in command room. 
> Salvages Roger and gear from the pile of stuff the Dark Eldar has organised neatly in strange unnatural shapes in the central table.
> The Tau reunited with tools instantly sets to work trying to hack the camera system with much success. 
> Somehow gets access to most of the cameras across the station as well as those in the prison section. 
> A shame half the monitors have been broken.

> Bounty Hunter is still debating with Dark Eldar on morality, starts slipping deeper and deeper into film noir monologues eventually decides he needs a stiff drink and reaches for his whisky flask.
> Mr T'Ork rearmed starts examining Imperial Officer/GPS/Club/Meat Shield and wonders aloud how he might upgrade it, can't decide if a red or green uniform would be better.
> Mantis Jedi only character to acknowledge Ewok but with broken translator ends up trying to communicate through mime.
> Roll fail for both Jedi and Ewok, obviously the first assumption by Chappa is that it wants to eat him, spear is brandished, threats are made in Ewokese.
> Jedi somehow manages to roll his compound eyes and decides to try and get someone to fix his translator.
> Party finally notices that a striking and important looking Imperial intelligence officer is lurking just outside, by looking at corridor surveillance camera feed.
> Jedi realises this is his contact and barely manages to stop Mr T'Ork from rampaging towards her. 
> The Bounty Hunter instantly goes into suave detective mode trying to seduce her which is somewhat spoiled by the Dark Eldar making gestures behind him. 
> Intelligence Officer trying to remain professional enquires which of the party is the Jedi. 
> Party response is “we have a Jedi?” 
> The Jedi is screaming internally and invokes double double face palm.
> Through the power of deduction and everyone saying “It isn't me” Bounty Hunter declares that Mantis thing must be Jedi.
> Still doesn't notice Ewok in room who punches a stirring Storm Trooper and then takes his helmet.
> Tau having found camera feeds for the engineering and ship docks now realises fixing the Jedi's translator may be a priority and gets to it and fails repeatedly until Mr T'Ork also helps.
> The Intelligence Officer who is growing increasingly nervous and regretting her life choices begins describing possible escape ships currently docked and why she is defecting.
> Imperial Officer/GPS/Club/Meat Shield now briefly forgotten about rolls under a desk and plays dead praying the party forgets about him.
> Dark Eldar examines the camera feeds with great interest, this doesn't bode well for the group as the Dark Eldars Player is legendary for his absolutely batshit crazy but awesome plans.
> All enquiries of “So how do we leave?” ignored, Ewok claims another helmet for the one he wasn't able to acquire when fighting Asshole guard.
>At current rate Ewoks inventory will resemble TF2 Players.

> Plot continues to be thrown at party and escape plans are discussed.
> Dark Eldar states that the party can't leave.
> Group collectively loads AreYouKiddingMe.Png
> Dark Eldar wants to deactivate Warp Core powering station, disabling the tractor beams and delaying pursuit.
> Wait Warp Core?
> GM states that screw it we'll go with a Star Trek vibe with the tech as more people are familiar to it.

> Back to game party are comparing skill sets, using the command consoles to lock down the prison section and begin to debate how to escape. 
> Ewok still ignored starts polishing his helmet.
> ChildhoodRuined.exe
> Chappa Realises that Roger may be a bit unarmoured tries to strip a Storm Trooper of his armour.
> Mr T'Ork noticing Ewok for first time watches amused then decides to help, soon semi naked unconscious storm troopers everywhere.
> Bounty Hunter, Tau and Dark Eldar continue to argue, with Roger semi armoured Ewok begins testing out acoustics of helmets drumming out beat again joined by Mr T'Ork.
> Finally whole party realising they are having to shout to talk stop and look around in a collective wtf at the sight of Ork and Ewok having a drum off surronded by semi naked Troopers.
> Ewok finally noticed asks can we leave now?

> Bounty Hunter points out that only hyperdrive capable ship in docks is a small corvette/frigate and they need to find a pilot.
> Ewok volunteers to pilot having served on one briefly.
> Party pauses for a moment, character sheets are checked, a growing dread sweeps across the party.
> Chappa and Roger the Droid are only characters who have piloting skills.
> The parties agreement to never let the Ewok touch anything important vanished like Tory MP's criminal charges.
> Characters agree that this is a great plan meanwhile the players trying to decide if they should just roll up new characters now.

> Plans are formed Dark Eldar, Bounty Hunter and Mr T'Ork will go disable the Station warp core, Jedi, Ewok, Tau and Intelligence Officer will go secure ship.
> After Dark Eldar group leaves Tau asks theoretical question if Dark Eldar is crazy and they are walking to their deaths. 
> Ewok and Jedi say yes without hesitation.

> Dark Eldar continues to avoid getting his hands dirty bluffing his way passed every guard as he makes his way to the engineering quarter. 
> Bounty Hunter and Mr T'Ork follow at a distance thankfully the route takes them across a lot of walkways over long seemingly bottomless pits with no handrails.
> A pattern is established as Bounty Hunter and Mr T'Ork rush forward and barge the guards patrols off the walkways before proceeding.
> This happens another 4 times.
> Dice Gods seem to favour the improbable cause until they reach the warp core.
>Maintenance droids around the area are quickly disposed of, Dark Eldar begins using maintenance override controls to shut down power. 
> Bounty Hunter watches him for anything suspicious and Mr T'Ork getting annoyed at the constant alarms tries hacking the local tannoy system.
> Dark Eldar begins to grin as cackle as not only he shuts down main power forcing the back up generators online but also begins the Warp Core eject procedure.
> Bounty Hunter is about to grab him to scream at him as the area below the core begins to open into space but is interrupted by blaster fire from arriving storm troopers reinforcements.

> The other little group is having a much easier time of it since with the Intelligence Officers knowledge of the station they are able to to avoid or redirect most of the patrols and quickly arrive at the ship docks.
> Before entering its pointed out that void suits are required as they are an airless environment, thankfully there are some in a nearby locker area.
> Of course none of the void suits are in Ewok or Mantis sizes so Tau goes on ahead to study available ships.
> Choices are a number of one man shuttles, a half broken Tie Fighter and the garbage/salvage frigate we are planning on stealing.
> Most of the remaining room is taken up by small servo droids designed to break down space detritus and do minor repairs.
> Tau been typical Earth Caste instantly looks for the controls for the droids and begins working on finding the command frequency.

> Ewok and Jedi Mantis finally find a way to make void suits fit though Chappa resembles a small child trying to wear its parents coat and Jedi is squished and bulging in spots.
> Intelligence Officer or possibly the GM losses all professionalism and breaks down into teary fit of nervous giggles.
> NotAmused.Png
> Once Intelligence Officer has recovered and Chappa is actually paying attention to her, learn that this space station is barracks for a Imperial Shipyard and that we should be careful when escaping and to expect a lot of pursuit.

> Moving now into the docks Jedi, Ewok and Intelligence Officer waste no time heading for the salvage frigate. 
> Tau shouts over he's going to grab a shuttle and meet us once we take off.
> Boarding ship we run into it unenthusiastic crew, somehow small Ewok in oversized void suit holds more commanding presence than Jedi.
> Suspect having a droid with a blaster beside him helped.
> Pretty much demands that crew point him in direction of bridge and either help take off or get off.
> Crew members in ship corridor promptly and collectively go “Fuck it above my paygrade” and begin to depart ship.
> At that moment Tau decides to spread more confusion by activating hostile boarders alarm on station which overrides the escaping prisoners tannoy.
> Crew turn around and quickly board the frigate again deciding to take their chances with escaping prisoners instead.

> Amongst the derping about finally find bridge and Ewok orders the trainee pilot to begin take off using spear as authorization before taking seat along side Roger near the other flight controls.
> Pray is said to the dice gods, promises of tribute given, Dark Eldar player offers to sacrifice first born as the roll everyone is dreading takes place.
> Mouse clicked, dice rolled and...
> The dice rolled off the chat box roll, Fantasy Grounds doesn't recognise it.
> UnspeakableCursing.wav
> Reroll.
> Crap its a 1 no wait wheres the other die?
> Moves character sheet popup spot the d4, its a 4!
> More dice appear, Dice explosion.
> 9 Its a pass! Party breathes a collective sigh of relief.
> Chappa finally proves he can use something more complicated than door and not break it.
> LikeABoss.Jpg

> Tau player promises to put skill points into piloting so this never happens again.
> Party breathes a collective sigh of relief, I'm mildly annoyed.
> This signals the beginning of a skill point arms race betweens us.
> Tau setting the servo droids to salvage targets the exterior of the station itself as he jumps into one of the smaller shuttles.
> Tau's turn to show off his pilot skills, wait he's not train in small ships.
> Play Evil_Laugh.wav
> Tau barely passes roll after his last Bennie.. ends up taking all the paint off one side of the shuttle.
> Party now somewhat less reassure by Tau Players promise.

> Brutal firefight underway around the warp core.
> PC's have advantage that the Storm Troopers are trying not to hit the giant volatile glowing core and are using single shots.
> Warp cores protective case lowers around it sealing shut and it ejects.
> Bounty Hunter shouts at Dark Eldar about how they are going to escape. 
> Dark Eldar just smiles reveals that his armour doubles as a void suit then breaks free from Bounty Hunters grasp.
> Dark Eldar leaps out into space and grabs onto ejected core, apparently that was his plan the whole time that magnificent crazy bastard.
>Party breaks into laughter.

> GM now reveals secret roll hacking done earlier by Dark Eldar. 
> The space stations stabilising thrusters using the little remaining power they have fire for a few seconds causing the station to begin drifting at increasing speed towards the nearby shipyard.
> A shipyard currently housing two full manned but disabled Star Destroyers and is in orbit around a populated planet.
> Death toll will be in millions if the wreckage from station and shipyard hits the planet.
> Party suddenly quiet. 
> Dark Eldar player whose character hasn't killed a single guard in his escape is about to commit mass murder on an extreme scale. 
> Suddenly realise just why this character is considered a complete monster and wanted across several systems.

> Storm Troopers begin retreating heading to abandon the station via ship docks and escape pods.
> Bounty Hunter finds maintenance locker with void suit in, changes in record time and leaps out after Dark Eldar determined to catch or kill him.
> Mr T'Ork who had been too busy unleashing dakka finally finds tannoy controls. 
> Message screens and tannoys now start blaring out adverts for his guns with heavy metal music in background. 
> OrksizMade4Rokkin.Png 
> Seeing his new friends have leapt out he tears a bowl shaped protective shield from a disabled droid and puts its over his head and leaps after them.
> Party pause thinking ork has just killed himself jumping into space with no protection.
> Do a little research, seems orks can last up to an hour in space with no protection. 
> Who knew?
> Session ends with Dark Eldar Party clutching onto warp core while the rest of the party in respective ships try to get a little distance from the station.


Thanks for reading all hope your enjoying it and would love to hear comments.


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Greentext: Tales of Chappa Fliks: Star Wars Warhammer 40k Crossover using Savage Worlds and Fantasy Grounds

Posted by: Jason Silverain / Category: , , , , , ,





For the last month or so my group have been running a bi weekly game of Savage Worlds in Star Wars/Warhammer 40k crossover called the The Enlightenment Heresy.

A long time from now in a galaxy of grimdark that is the 41st millennium, there has been only darkness and war for generations, but now as the galaxy stands on the precipice of oblivion, there is a new hope.
Emerging from the mists of a warp-storm that has raged for millennia into a universe where the average person is hard pressed to figure out how a toaster works or wire a plug without praying to it, comes a group of bold and brave worlds that can actually get their shit together, and dare to question the orthodoxy of the Imperial Creed.
There are now navigable channels opening up in the warp-storm. The Empire has taken a look at these dangerous heretics, and is preparing to invade.
The Republic is the underdog, but they have a few things going for them:
  • They still have their technology, and understand how it works
  • They have access to the webway, and have begun to explore it. So far, they have kept this fact secret from the Imperial (and the Eldar), although it will not stay secret for ever.
  • Other worlds are eager to join an alliance, to form a confederation of free systems and throw off the yoke of the Empire.
Meanwhile, the ancient enemies of the Empire lick their lips and prepare to strike as the Empire is distracted by a civil war…
And perhaps most urgently, the Astronomicon is guttering and fading, threatening to go out. The Emperor is dying.

Now some of you may still be wondering how this all fits together here is a bit more of an in-depth description of the setting as its grown so far courtesy of my GM:

There is a large section of space (containing dozens of worlds) that has been cut off from the rest of the galaxy for millennia by a raging warp-storm.
The people in this warp-bubble have been isolated from the rest of the galaxy since before the dark age of technology (except for a trickle of ships that have been sucked in through the warp storm over the centuries).
The societies enclosed in this way have retained their understanding of technology, and have formed a republic (with a strong Star Wars vibe). It isn’t necessarily all peace and love, but within the bubble they don’t automatically attempt to genocide each other.

Inside the bubble (in the eye of the warp storm) the immaterium is relatively stable, meaning that warp/hyperspace travel is safer, the forces of chaos are less overtly powerful, and psi powers can be used more safely (provided they the psyker is disciplined and calm of mind, such as the jedi). Following a more intuitive or reckless path can still lead people to be corrupted by the insidious effects of the dark side, but psykers are not automatically feared.
Outside the warp bubble, the world is much closer to the 40k universe; the Empire (a combination of that of Star Wars and 40K Imperium) holds sway over a huge territory, the warp is turbulent, psykers have great but volatile power (and those psykers who fail to follow disciplines imperial teachings and fall to the dark side are hunted viciously by the inquisition), and stability is threatened by monsters such as tyranids, orks, and necrons.

The Empire has the history, ecclesiarchy, tech priests, space marines, and inquisition of 40k, but has an imperial bureaucracy and navy that matches that of the Star Wars Galactic Empire (complete with grand moffs, storm troopers, and star destroyers). It is oppressive to alien races, but doesn’t usually attempt to outright exterminate them (closer to Star Wars than 40K)
The center of imperial space (Core Segmentum) is tightly controlled (imperial creed, human-only worlds etc), but as you move outwards its attitudes and control are more relaxed (it is stretched too thinly to totally control everybody). The periphery of imperial space is full of Outer-Rim worlds (including wretched hives of scum and villainy), where aliens are tolerated as long as they do as they are told and pay their taxes (or bribe the Imperial governors to look the other way). Rogue Traders ply these space lanes, making a killing (if they are lucky) or being killed (when they are unlucky).

So you might be wondering why I'm telling you all this, well I thought I would try my hand at writing a Greentext Story of our first adventure as a writing experiment as I've a tendency to be Verbose.

If your unfamiliar with Greentext stores then basically they are anecdotes written in short, concise sentences most often seen on image boards using the site’s “green-text” code but have gain popularity across various different message boards.

Here is Chappa in all his early glory for you people curious about his stats, there have been some minor changes to the skills since but its still rather accurate. 

With all that covered I hope you enjoy our escapades.

Part 1: The campaign and Chappa are brought to life.


> Group decides to try running game over steam using Fantasy Grounds
> Spend one night in pub arguing theme over curry.
> Decide on Star Wars/ Warhammer 40k Crossover using savage worlds.
> Group created massive 40 page + document of ideas, pictures and notes for campaign.
> A bit creatively burnt out since I just finished one for another game that's still going so just skim it.
> Leave it a week then ask housemates what they are playing.
> Mostly 40k races.
> This is after they spent ages arguing that they want something different from usual Dark Heresy.
> AreYouSerious.png

> Drop idea for Blood Axe Ork or Tau characters decide to bolster up Star Wars elements.
> Realise I have no clue about the expanded universe past hearsay.
> To hell with it I'm a Ewok...
> A Ewok who is going to have piloting skills in battle suits and awesome in gunnery/engineering.
> Play Evil_Laugh.exe

> Start stating character and buying equipment.
> Find a Star Wars Savage world home brew.
> Discover Ewoks have the chance of breaking everything technological they use since they have 'All Thumbs'.
> Hell with it, sticking with concept.
> Throw a D4 into Pilot: (freighter class ship) just in case we need a backup pilot.
> Don't realise the item costs are much much cheaper than the Scifi Companion.
> Decently armed and armoured try to sink the remaining money on bionic spine and lungs.
> Still richer than Bill Gates.
> Buy and customise a B1 Battle Droid with as many reasonable upgrades as possible, to use as backup pilot and gunner with D6 in both.
> Play RogerRoger.wav

>Oh crap need backstory, everyone needs to be arrested by the Empire/Imperium for a crime.
> Read Wookieepedia on Ewoks.
> Oh damn there's Ewok fur clothes and Ewok Jerky?!
> Lightbulb.png

> Chappa Fliks is Born in my mind
> Ewok smuggled himself offworld to see the universe, found and forced to work on freighter for trip.
> Eventually let off on Imperium border world.
> Discovers Ewok Jerky and that there several Ewok farms in system.
> Tries to complain, no one speaks Ewok, treated like animal taken to nearest farm.
> Chicken Run with Ewoks and lasers.
> Joins up with local rebels/animal rights activist who help escaped Ewoks return to wild.
> Remains with rebels liberating other farms.
> Local Empire patrols gives no shits about 'animal theft', ignores complaints.
> Begins merc work to pay back rebels and gets enough favours for bionics when one raid goes bad and he nearly dies.
> Hides out in old Junk Yard full of droid parts and builds his own like Swat Cats.

>Time Passes finally meet up on teamspeak.
> Discover rest of Parties characters:
> Tau Earth Caste Engineer, only survivor from a space hulk survey that turned 'Alien' has trouble working with others after been stuck alone for so long.
> Mr T'Ork aka Mr Torgue from Borderlands 2 as an Ork, actually turns out to be an amazing combination.
> Dark Eldar Flesh Crafter who is one of the most wanted men in the universe and is creepy/crazy as hell. He is also shaping up to be the parties only medic.
> A Cyborg detective/bounty hunter who looks like he is from Ghost in Shell, brought in the Dark Eldar for the bounty and got arrest for a number of minor charges by the Imperials so they would not have to pay him.
> Some strange man sized mantis creature which is apparently a Jedi. Played by the groups most knowledgeable Star Wars fan.
> Party thinks I'm making a Ewok Rocket Raccoon.
> Facepalm so hard mike gets feedback.



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Kobolds Ate My Baby Adventure: Short & Sweet

Posted by: Jason Silverain / Category: , , , , ,



With the popularity of the last KAMB adventure Trick & Treat Troubles I've continued to create a few more adventures in order to support the Kobolds Ate My Baby community.

While Kobolds Ate My Baby in Colour was used to design the encounters the adventure can easily be adapted for earlier editions or for the Home Brew Kobolds Ate My Baby (TG Edition) which is designed for play by post. For clarification like many publications by WOTC's or 3rd party writers italic paragraphs will sections to be read out to the players with alterations if needed while regular text is information for the Dungeon Master.

The maps in this adventure were created with the free online map maker of Ye Olde Map Maker.

Kobolds Ate My Baby Adventure: Short & Sweet


This short adventure is design for between 4 to 6 Kobolds and should take approximately 30 to 45 minutes to complete depending on how much trouble and chaos occurs. It should be noted that the baby horrible death table should be disregarded for this adventure.

The following paragraph should be read just before or during character creation.

Tabriz Warlock Supreme has rent out your services to the marauding orc hordes of Warchief Dunbad (not to mistaken for marinading hordes of Warchef Dunwell, and his gourmet goblins), while your not sure if he was allowed to as King Torg (All Hail King Torg) was loaning you and your buddies out to him its best not to argue with a Warlock Supreme (unless you want to end up as ash). With little more than a green chubby finger pointing you towards the nearby woods south of his warcamp and a order of "Goes Get Food or be food" you begin your service to Warchief Dunbad

Once play is ready to begin read the following.

After trudging through the thick forest for what feels like days (though given a kobolds attention span its probably been a hour at most) with little more than the occasional berry, a squirrel that was too slow and that stick shaped chicken leg you've not found anything that you think looks particularly tasty. For a moment you begin to worry that you won't find anything and worse your beginning to feel hungry however before the gaze (and giant thumb) of VOR! can come down upon you at your brief spark of self preservation the sweet, tasty aroma of baby wafts into your nostrils. 

Rushing through the trees you eventually come to a small clearing in which the centre of stands a small cottage.

 Locations:


1. The Clearing.

 Smoke wisps from the chimney of the small cottage as the smell of stewing meat and vegetables teases you from one of the open windows, the cottage itself is made of timber and looks old but well maintained though it pales in comparison to the mighty halls of Torg. From the behind the cottage loud chopping and the thud of wood can be heard. 

If any of the Kobolds are interested of taking a look inside the cottage the window on the west side of the house is open, however the window is a little high for the average kobold so Sport rolls or something to stand on (like another kobold) will be needed.

2. Inside The Cottage.
Occupants: 1 Wench (Upgrade Dam to 3 for Iron Skillet), Baby
Loot: 2 Cooking Utensils, Kitchen Knife, Iron Skillet. Stew (4 Servings, heals 1 HIT per serving)

When/if the kobolds open the door:

The door opens and from behind you can see a young human woman clothed in a short dress and long red cloak sat at a table arranging a bundle of dried flowers to place in a straw basket, nearby over a fire pit hangs a small black pot in which a stew bubbles to completion. A waft of hot air drifting out catches your nose and the scent is unmistakable there is a delicious baby somewhere within!  

At this point if the kobolds don't immediately attack they are most likely planning their heist and trying to figure out how to get around the human.

The simplest ways to do this are:

  • Attempt to sneak past her (2 Dice Sneak Roll) when her back is turned to tend to the stew, which may cause issues if all the kobolds do this at once.
  • A kobold with Winning Smile could distract the hooded woman with the added bonus of been given a bowl of stew.
  • Making a noise outside and luring her out.
  • Break open the rear window (or one of them Sneaks in and opens it) and climb in but this may be noisy and this involves distracting or removing the woodcutter in area 3.
Once inside the cottage itself is very simple with only a single main room which consists of a kitchen/dining room with a adjoining bedroom where the baby lays in its cot.

In the case of a fight the kobolds have 2 turns before the Woodcutter arrives to investigate the noise. 

3. Behind The Cottage.
Occupants: 1 Woodcutter (Use Farmer, Upgrade Dam to 4 for Big Axe)
Loot: Chopped wood (As much as you need), Woodcutters Axe (Dam 4, -Big,-Bulky)

The sound of chopping grows louder as you approach, peering around the corner of the cottage you see the tall human wielding that wickedly sharp looking axe as he slices small logs of wood into smaller logs of wood. You'll never understand humans and their strange rituals.

The big threat to the kobolds safety, this fellow will happily axe first and ask questions later. If alerted to a fight he'll focus on any kobolds that have attacked or killed any of his family first.

Once the kobolds have obtained the baby and managed to escape from the map without eating it then the second part of the adventure begins.

Thieving Witch


With your smelly, wailing but tasty treasure well in paw you race through the forest looking forward to cooking the noisy snack and impressing Warchief Dunbad with kobold cuisine, however a high pitch cackle above you suddenly draws your attention as the baby is snatched from your grasp. Racing away through the tree line on her gnarled broomstick the green skinned witch calls back "Thanks for the snack", while out of sight the scent of baby is still strong and you hurry after her.


1. The Garden

 A overpowering sweet smell seems to fill you with a rush of energy as once again the forest undergrowth thins into the clearing, the source of the smell seems to be the large building before you, a literal gingerbread house. Its brown baked walls studded with rock candy and panelled with peppermint, along its chocolate button roof tiles grimacing gummy bears gaze down at you. 

So our kobold hungry for revenge (and baby) will be wondering how to enter this den of delightful treats, any kobolds trying the thick peppermint slab doors will find them locked (and sticky) along with a cat flap that is far too small for them.

For those budding sneak thieves who want to explore around the side of the building a little further they will have to face their own problems of manoeuvring through the sugar glass grass requiring a 2 Dice Sports or Wiggle check to avoid taking 2 Hit of damage. To be fair only do this once for each side of the building though if anyone complains make they do it again and give them a Horrible Death Check that will teach em.

Much like the previous cottage the windows  are a little high for the average kobold so Sport rolls or something to stand on (like another kobold) will be needed.
Anyone attempting to peak into Room 3 through the window will alert the Witches guardians in the garden the Licorice Lasso Snakes: (advised 1 to 2 for each kobold)     

Licorice Lasso Snakes
4B 2E 2E 9R /3 AGL/Wiggle/ Candy Corn Fangs 1 DAM/ 1VP

Anyone who succeeds in Wrassling a Licorice Lasso Snake into their mouth defeats it instantly and gains 1 Hit back.

Despite the locked door entering the house shouldn't be too difficult and there are various ways of doing this. The most obvious and koboldy way is to attempt to eat their way in, now as tasty as this sounds having to eat up to your own body weight in sugar is certainly not good for you.
A kobolds bite does 1 Dam per action spent munching and the hits of the candy creations are Small Item (plate, door knob): 1 Hit, Normal Item (chair, end table) 3 Hits, Large Items (doors, a bed) 5 Hits and Walls are 8 Hits. For every 2 Hits of candy a kobold eats they gain 2 Hits back, however any kobold that eats their Hits in candy creations must roll on the Sweet & Sickly Death Table, a - Hungry kobold could quite literally eat themselves to death.

 
Sweet & Sickly Death Table
D6
Roll
Result
1-2 WAAAAAAAA SUGAR RUSH: The sheer amount of sugar courses through you increasing Reflexes by 4 for 1d6 Turns however while rushing things can lead to mistakes in normal people for a kobold it can be deadly. Every Skill become Dangerous and at the end of those turns you pass out for a nap for 2 turns.
3-4 I Don't Feel So Good: Your head spinning this way and that your blood sugar does the same. Roll a D6 1. or 2. - 1Vp, 3.or 4. -2 Hit, 5. - Miss 2 Turns Throwing Up, 6. Diabetes Gain 2 Horrible Death Checks.
5 Can't Eat Another Bite: Its too much, as the sweet taste coats your every sense your kobold has had enough swearing never to eat candy again. You kobold is unable to bring themselves eat (or bite) any more and should they be forced to in any way they gain a Horrible Death Checks as at this point they would rather bite off their own tongue.
6 Never Feed Chocolate to Dogs...: Everyone knows that Kobolds are related to dogs (apart from those weird dragon loving lizard things) and you don't feed chocolate to dogs. Even a kobolds iron stomach and mithril liver has to give up somewhere and yours has decided to head to Vors mighty snack tables. You die foaming from the mouth. Gain 2 VP for achieving the kobold dream of gorging yourself to death.


Other methods can include: 
  • Melting/burning their way in, a Cup Of Elemental Summoning: Milk Milk Elemental, will demolish up to 15 Hits of Candy Creations before melting into sticky Sludge. Those using fire will have be more careful as hot melted chocolate hurts.
  • Using Dungeon to lockpick the door or Wiggle to limbo through the Cat flap.
  • Eating or smashing their way through the Windows or Roof tiles which are the thinnest parts of the building.
  • Going down the Chimney though this will result in any kobolds taking 2 Hits of Damage as they splash into the Witches Special brew and will have to treat this as drinking a random Booze.
Any method of entry that damages the house will awaken the Gummy Bear Guardians who spring and bounce from the rooftop to attack (Advise: 2 for each kobold).  

Gummy Bear Guardians
8B 2E 2E 9R /3 AGL/ Wrassle + Bouncy/ Sticky Hugs 2 DAM/ 2VP 

2. Inside The Cottage.
Occupants: 3 Imps
Loot:Witches Special brew (5 Servings, Random Booze effect.)

When/if the kobolds make their way inside:

The candy creations continue inside, the floor tiles made of dark and white chocolate patterned in occult symbols, the walls supported by giant chocolate logs by Vor even the table, cooking implements and somehow the fireplace are made of various different types of candy. Flapping lazily in the air a trio of arguing imps seem to be taking swings at each other with candy apples as maces.   

The Imps are frankly sick of sweets and are looking forward to a feat of baby and are quite happy to add the kobolds to the menu as horderves unless given an alternative quickly. If the kobolds have somehow made themselves wet (such as falling in the witches cauldron) then they suffer -1 Agl as they stick to the floor with every step. 

Imp x3
2B 14E 19E 13R / 4 AGL / Speak Kobold / Magic Spark (ranged) 1 DAM/ 1 VP

Due to the imps habit of fighting each other the witch will ignore any sounds of combat unless the kobolds themselves are particularly noisy.

3. Witches Bedroom
Occupants: 1 Witch
Loot:Baby, 4 Spell Pages, Witches Hat. (2 Armour), Flying Broomstick

A rumbling snore so deep that you can feel it through your fur rattles from the sleeping witch as slumbers upon the bed, beside her in a small candy floss cot your stolen baby goos happily at seeing you. However at this slightest noise the witch rolls over unsteady in her sleep and kicking her stripy stocking covered legs, her boots thudding on the bed. 

A Sneaky could get away scot free here at snatching the baby (3 Dice Sneak Check) but its likely that the witch will wake up as soon as the kobolds make any noise in the room, leading to a fight.

4.Cell
Occupants: 2 Skeleton Children (Use Bad Kid)
Loot:Nothing!

The doors to this room are heavy, the hardened toffee barely moving under your weight. Inside the room is pitch back but your keen eyes pick out the black licorice chains and whips, your about to look further when a pair of small skeletons rise from the floor rushing towards you.

The witches last 'guests' the cursed pair lash out at any living thing to enter the room.

Wrapping up


With the baby retrieved and possibly a few new foodstuffs the kobold will hopefully think to carry some candy back for the orcs, allow the kobolds to attempt some cooking rolls if you wish but its time to add up that VP. Any Kobold bring back something meaty (baby, Imp, witch) gains a bonus 4 VP as does any kobold that gets ambitious and attempts to bring a whole wall of the gingerbread house for example.  

Finally a little epilogue

Returning to the camp of Warchief Dunbad the large brutish orc looks sceptical but gives you a chance to cook (rather than be cooked), thankfully your candied Baby Surprise and various other sugar treats are a big hit throughout the camp and soon everything from halfing head and elf ears to dire boar and owl bear is been thrust your way to receive a candy coating. When morning comes around however many groans can be heard echoing amongst the tents, it seems that the large fangs of the orcs are not suited to such sugary meals and many have developed cavities, perhaps now is a good time to grab some payment/loot and go back home before Warchief Dunbad decided he wants you in the pot after all. 

I hope you've all enjoyed this little adventure, please leave comments below and I think I may just leave a few of my own with any further details I decide upon when reviewing this adventure.

For further information on Kobolds Ate My Baby see the links below:


Kobolds Ate My Baby - Wikipedia 
Kobolds Ate My Baby - Scribd 3rd Edition
Kobolds Ate My Baby - Deluxx Edition Review
9th Level Games


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